Daughter Of The King

I'm having a hard time feeling truly like the daughter of the King. How does that feel? Does that mean you feel loved, secure and happy? And safe, and provided for? I feel safe, and provided for. God provides. But I'm having a hard time having a real realtionship with God. Or with Jesus. I feel like He's far away. And sometimes I think He doesn't want to come closer. But actually i think I'm too scared to let Him come closer. Cause I don't want Him to see the big mess that I sometimes feel I am.
In the Bible it says that we can boldly come before Him. But I dont think I can. But I want to.
What am I afraid off? That He will judge me? He will not. If I would be judged Jesus would have died for nothing. I'm saved. I'm not judged.
I just find it very difficult. It's a big struggle, and a learning process.
If you ask me, sometimes life could be a bit easier!