Leaving the Shelter
Wow, on Wednesday I had my last shift in the Shelter. It feels so weird. I just didn't wanna leave after my last shift, because then it would be really over.
Ever since my last shift I have this strong feeling of fear inside me.
I'm just so scared that all my ideas and plans of keeping in touch with my Shelter friends will not work out and that I will end up sad and alone in my room in Amsterdam.
How do I prevent that? I don't know if I can. Of course it's only possible to stay friends with someone if both people want to stay in touch. So, that makes it something that's impossible to fully control. I guess it takes some trust and letting go. Which is so hard.
I guess I just want to secure my own happiness.
But I think I have to learn to trust God in this.
Please pray for me to trust and let go.
I think I'm gonna need it!
2 comments:
That was helpful, Ben. :)
Nynke, I'm having the same doubts. I'm anticipating some lonely days in Amsterdam, because it's sort of a home by default now, but I still don't know the city THAT well, don't really know the language, and I certainly don't know more than a half-dozen people outside of the Shelter crowd, let alone people who I'd have a lot in common with. And I don't want to be some Shelter ghost who keeps haunting the hostels and the staff house.
We could always hang out together occasionally...
KkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkNnnnnnnnnnnnnnUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuFffffffffffffFffffffffffffffEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeLlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(that's says knuffel, in case you're wondering. love you!)
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