The Swedish Chef

I just love the Swedish Chef, he's so funny! Bork, bork, bork!
This is his recipe for chocolate mooose. Very lekker. We always use this recipe in our hostel!

Noo, toodie wee well meg dee chocolate mooose.

Step oone, geet a five-pound block oof chocolate.

(5 lb. chocolate hefted onto table. THUNK!)

Step twoo, get dee mooose. Heer, mooosee mooosee mooosee mooosee!

(Moose walks into kitchen.)

Step three, put dee mooose een dee bleender.

(Moose looks quizically as chef puts moose in blender, head first. Vreee! Vreee! Vruuunk!)

Nuutice: dee bleender cun't hundel dee entlers. Put dee entlers een last.

(Chef reverses moose, puts back in blender. Moose raises front legs in "why me?" gesture. Vreee! Vreee! Vruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunknknknknk.)

Chef pulls antlers out of blender.

Seeve dee entlers, yoo cun use dem fur furks.

Steep three: cuut chocolate eentoo leetle bite-size peeces. Heer, we uuse a cleever.

(Attempts to chop chocolate block with meat cleaver, but only succeeds in breaking the cleaver.)

Dees is guud chocolate. Weell, eef at furst yuu dun't succeed, pass dee buck. Get dee asseesteent. Aseesteent!

(Miss Piggy, in chef's hat and apron, enters kitchen.)

Asseesteent, pulees cuut dee chocolate eentoo leedle bite-size peeces.

(Miss Piggy karate-chops chocolate block into little pieces, leaving chocolate all over counter.)

Theenk yooo, asseestent.

(Miss Piggy leaves. Chef uses dustpan and broom to collect chocolate pieces.)

Steep fuur, put chocolate een weeth mooose, und bleend egen.

(Dumps chocolate into blender, and turns it on. He has forgotten to place the lid on the blender, however, and chocolate moose begins to cover the chef and his kitchen.)

Allweeys remembur oone uf twoo theengs. Eether puut dee leed on dee bleender, ur meg shuur det yuur diiners ur een dee keetchen.

(Collects chocolate moose from his apron using his finger, then tastes it.)

Uum! Dees ees guud mooosee!!!

Sounds good, right?